


Four Unfortunate Encounters That Never Happened, and a Fifth One That Did, and Was Fortuitous Indeed

by Shayheyred



Category: Hikaru no Go
Genre: Chromatic Source, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-29
Updated: 2011-07-29
Packaged: 2017-10-21 22:09:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/230399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shayheyred/pseuds/Shayheyred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fujiwara-no-Sai has a most fortunate return to the world...or maybe not</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Unfortunate Encounters That Never Happened, and a Fifth One That Did, and Was Fortuitous Indeed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Inner Voice (inner_v0ice)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inner_v0ice/gifts).



> Inner Voice, thanks for the amusing prompt. While I didn't quite follow it to the letter, it certainly got my creative juices flowing. Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Thanks to my wonderful beta Lynnmonster who also was the one who first introduced me to Hikaru, Sai, and the rest of the Go-players. Arigato!
> 
> * * *

**Four Unfortunate Encounters That Never Happened...**  


  


**One...**  


"Is this something you wish to keep, sir?"

The tall man barely cast a glance at the object in the handyman’s arms. "Just leave it here, Sato. Is there much more?"

"I don’t believe so, sir." The handyman deposited his burden on the ground and climbed the ladder again to peer into the crawlspace. "No, that was it."

"Good. Arrange to have all of this carted away." The handyman bowed and exited.

Dust motes caught in the late afternoon sun and Touya Kouyou coughed delicately into his sleeve. He made a _moue_ of distaste and turned to the pile before him, the random detritus of his grandfather’s life. He toed the pile absently; clearly there was nothing of value to keep. Better to throw out the whole collection of—

His toe caught on the threadbare fabric wrapping the last item taken out of storage, and as he pulled his foot loose the covering came loose as well, revealing wood beneath. He bent down. Maybe this was promising after all. Perhaps it was an antique, or some sort of artifact…

He pulled the fabric away and sat back on his heels. "Oh, wonderful," he said sarcastically. "Another goban."

His house was filled with Go boards, some ancient, some new, made of the finest wood, some inlaid with ebony or mother of pearl; one, a gift, was carved from trees now deemed endangered. After all, he was Touya Meijin – Go was his life, but he hardly needed another goban, especially one as banged-up and dirty as this. He ran his fingers over a wide-spread red-brown stain that obscured much of one side. "Useless junk."

_You can see it! The stain!_

What an idiot that handyman was! "Well, of course I can see it. Look. It covers the entire—" He turned his head. The handyman was nowhere in sight. "Sato! Hello?"

_Can you hear me? Oh fortunate day!_

Touya Kouyou took in a sharp breath as a tickle, cold as an icy finger, ran the length of his spine. There was a sudden gust of wind and a rustling of fabric, and then a displacement of the air in front of him. And then, suddenly, a figure stood where moments before there had been nothing but dust. Swathed in voluminous white robes, a tall Heien-era hat on his head, the figure unfolded from a crouching position and beheld him with delight. "You! You are the one! Oh, I could not have wished for a better outcome!"

Kouyou stared, his mouth open.

"I sense from your presence that you will be a strong opponent! It has been so very many years since I was able to play. How fortuitous! How delightful! I may continue my quest to achieve the Hand of God! Oh, I faint from excitement!" The willowy personage snapped his fan open and wafted it a few times towards his face, which held an expression of utter bliss. "And never fear – I shall teach you all the fine intricacies of play. Under my tutelage you shall be great, indeed!"

Touya Kouyou—Touya _Meijin_ — narrowed his eyes.

"You shall become a worthy player! My rival at court was one such, though not of good character, and we shall not speak of him." He waved away the unpleasant memory with a flutter of his fan. "Not since my dear and honorable Torajirou have I—"

"What nonsense is this?"

The figure snapped his mouth shut, then bowed deeply. "Pardon me, honorable sir," he said in a deferential tone. "I am rushing before myself, and being improper. Allow me to make my introduction in a correct manner. I am Fujiwara-no-Sai, late of the court of the most noble Emperor—"

"Stop that babbling at once! Who put you up to this?"

"I beg your—?"

"Was it Ogata?" Kouyou made a disgusted sound. "That fool. It was him, wasn't it? Trying to annoy me with his idiotic challenges."

The costumed person — Sai — wrinkled his brow. "I know not this Ogata, honorable sir, but as I was saying, all I wish to do is—"

"I don't know how you managed that entrance, but you can take your costume-drama theatrics and special effects back to Ogata and tell him to give up trying to challenge me in these ridiculous ways. He is a waste of time and it's beneath my dignity to meet him in battle."

Sai put out an imploring hand. "Er, I assure you, dear sir, that I—"

"And you can stop that prattling about emperors and Honinbo Shuusaku. The joke is over." Touya Meijin took a step forward and loomed over the interloper, who held his fan before him defensively. "You're on private property." He pulled a cellphone from an inside pocket and waved it in the other man's face. "I'm giving you the count of three and then I'm telephoning the authorities." He turned his back on Sai and flipped open his phone.

" _Telefoo_ , er? Authorities?" Sai whimpered.

"One—"

"Oh dear and most honorable sir," Sai jabbered in alarm. "You are mistaken! All I wish to do is play Go! I cannot harm a fly! I do not know this Ogata! If he wishes to fight a duel with you, surely that is his own decision! I beg you to—"

"Two—"

"No, no, you do not understand. For many centuries I have waited—"

" _THREE!_ "

Another gust of air whipped at Touya Meijin as he turned, but other than the echo of a high-pitched shriek, he was alone.

"What a farce," he growled at the empty shed. "I'll have a word with Ogata about his pathetic challenges. Magic tricks, bah!"

He kicked the Go board aside as he strode from the room.

 

* * *

  


  


**Two...**  


_Can you hear me?_

"EEEEEEE!" shrieked Fujisaka Akari, dropping the Go board.

" _Greetings,_ " said Sai, materializing. "I am—"

"EEEEEEEE! Help! SOMEBODY HELP!! IT'S A PERVERT!"

"Wait," began Sai, moving towards her. "I am merely—"

"DON'T TOUCH MEEEEEEE!" screamed Akari, backing away.

"I won't, I assure—"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed Sai in return, thoroughly alarmed by the enormous sound issuing forth from the small girl.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!" Akari wailed, running in a circle and flailing her arms like a windmill.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!" cried Sai, running in a circle, flapping his sleeves like a giant albatross.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Akari's eyes rolled back and she fainted dead away.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Sai's eyes fluttered closed. He sank to the ground in a puddle of robes and promptly disappeared.

When Akari woke up, she was alone.

"Oh, my," she gasped. "What a narrow escape!"

 

* * *

  


  


**Three...**  


"I must say, you are accepting my presence with a great deal of aplomb."

"Yeah, I got plenty of aplomb," the boy said. "Whatever that means. So you wanna play Go, that's it? Okay."

Sai's face lit up. "You mean, you mean – you know how to play already?"

"Of course," said Mitani Yuki, raising his chin. "I'm an expert."

"Oh, how fortuitous a moment!" Sai sighed with joy.

"You like Go that much?"

Sai bowed deeply, his fan tracing a delicate pattern in the air. "I am Fujiwara-no-Sai, former Go instructor to His Serene Majesty the Emperor."

"Cool," said Mitani. "I dunno any other girls who play."

"Whaa—" Sai straightened his posture. "I am not a _girl_."

"Okay, a lady, then. Whatever."

"Young person," snapped Sai, "I am neither a girl nor a lady. I am a gentleman of the court."

Mitani leaned closer. "You're kidding, right?"

Sai sniffed, deeply offended. "Certainly not!"

"Hmph. Well, you look like a girl. You might want to cut your hair and tone down the makeup so guys don't get the wrong idea." He plopped himself down on the dusty floor and set the goban between them. "So. What're the stakes?"

Sai blinked at him. "Er, stakes?"

"What are we playing for?"

Sai cocked his head. "I don't understand. We're playing to _play_."

"That's boring," muttered the boy. "Hey – you said you were the former instructor. How come _former_?"

A blush darkened Sai's features. "With your kind permission, I would prefer not to discuss that. It is a matter of some pain to me."

"You sure are prissy for a _guy_ ," Mitani said, wrinkling his nose. "Come on, tell."

"I'd really rather not."

"No tell, no play." Mitani folded his arms and raised his chin pugnaciously.

"Very well," Sai sighed. "If you must know, I was driven from court by my rival. He was an excellent competitor, but he cheated to win."

"So?" Mitani shrugged. "What's a little cheating?"

Sai looked at him, aghast. "To cheat – surely that defiles the very essence of the game!"

Mitani grinned slyly. "Yeah, but sometimes you just gotta win, ya know?"

"But—"

"Hey, I've done it. You know a good way to do it? You palm a stone of the other color and when no one's looking, you drop it into your—"

Sai disappeared in a burst of indignant sparkles.

"Weird guy," muttered Mitani.

 

* * *

  


  


**Four...**  


The boy stared at him defiantly. "I don't believe you."

"But it's true," protested Sai. "I am Fujiwara-no-Sai, late of the court of his most honorable Majesty—"

"And all you want to do is play Go."

"Yes!" Sai beamed at him. "Do you know the game?"

Touya Akira rolled his eyes. "Do I know it? I _live_ it!"

"Oh happy Fortune!" Sai fanned himself. "At last I have found the perfect one through whom—"

"I play Go every morning, noon and night, every school day, every holiday. I dream about Go. Once when I had a fever I hallucinated about it." He put a hand to his forehead. "I must be running a fever now."

"Oh no, young sir, you are not. I am indeed real…in a manner of speaking." Sai fluttered his eyelashes and sighed. "And I will be with you, playing Go together, for a very, very long time."

"Hmm." Akira regarded Sai with a piercing gaze. "How would that work, exactly?"

"Well," explained Sai, "we find an opponent, and through you I achieve the opportunity to play once again! Simple!"

" _Through_ me?"

"Yes! I will tell you the moves to make, and together we shall—"

"No!" Angrily Akira shoved the goban aside. "I refuse."

"You…" Sai giggled nervously. "But…surely you are jesting. Why, did you not just say that you think of Go every moment of your life? So do I! Thus, we are perfectly paired! I shall inhabit your conscious and together we shall—"

"I said _no_. Nobody tells me what moves to make."

"Well then…" Sai folded his fan. "All right. But you and I, we will play each other, yes? We will spend every day and night pursuing the Divine Move. I shall never leave your side, and we—"

"No," Akira said again, shaking his head so vigorously his hair flew. "I have _real_ rivals to face, and I can't waste time just playing _you_. I have to be able to challenge everyone."

"But I have played with Honinbo—"

"And I have played with _Touya Meijin_!"

"Please, I beg you!" Sai fell to his knees and bowed low. "Won't you please allow—"

The boy put up a hand to silence him. Sai closed his mouth.

Akira sighed. "Okay, fine. Perhaps we can schedule a few games—" He opened his backpack and pulled out a device and started poking at it. "I have Thursday available, after 7:30pm, and Sunday morning—no, wait, I'm meeting Father for instruction. Hmm. How about Monday of next week, around 2? I can spare an hour then."

"Er…what is _that_?" Sai asked, pointing gingerly with his fan.

"It's a Blackberry, of course."

Sai's goggled. "It's _edible_?"

"Don't be ridiculous. It's a _Blackberry_. I usually carry my iPad, but with the laptop and the new virtual Go software I just bought it was too—"

"Oh dear," wailed Sai, slumping into a dejected pile. "What kind of world is this?"

"It's a busy one," Akira said, "and I don't have time to waste. In fact—" he consulted his watch. "I have to go. So. If you want to play, leave me a message and we'll set up a time."

He bent down to put the Blackberry in his backpack. Behind him there was a rustle of fabric and a puff of air, and he turned. "And now I—"

There was nothing there but the old goban.

Akira touched his forehead again. "Must be a very high fever."

 

* * *

  


**...and One That Did Happen, and Was Fortuitous Indeed**  


  


**GO!**  


"Ehhh, you beat me again," Hikaru said, sliding stones off the goban. "I never seem to get any better."

Sai smiled indulgently. "That's not true, Hikaru! You are learning, and learning quickly. Some day you may equal me in skill."

Hikaru rolled back onto the futon, hands behind his head. "Huh. As if."

"Hikaru?"

"Look. I know I suck. The other kids in the club know I suck." He sent Sai a challenging look. " _You_ know I suck."

Sai arched a delicate eyebrow. " _Suck_?"

"Stink. Fail. Bomb. Am crappy. Lousy. I _suck_."

Sai scratched his head. "Hikaru, I'm afraid I—"

"It means, I'm a loser." Hikaru flopped over so his head drooped off the edge of the futon. "I'll never get any better at Go, Sai." The aura of dejection hung like a grey cloud in the air. Sai waved it away with his fan.

"Certainly you will, Hikaru! You must have hope!" He smiled brightly at Hikaru, who raised his head.

"But…" The look on Hikaru's face melted Sai's heart. "Tell me, Sai, how do I get where I want to be?"

"Well," said Sai, "you just need to try over and over again, until you get it right."

"That's it, huh?"

"That's it."

"So if I keep practicing and playing Go, someday I might even be better than _you_."

Sai chuckled. "We'll see."

"Okay." Hikaru nodded, and sat bolt upright. "Thanks for the pep talk. Maybe you and me, we'll go find that Touya guy and I'll let you play him. How's that?"

"Oh, thank you, Hikaru!" cried Sai, clapping his hands in delight. "What a fortunate outcome!"

* * *


End file.
